Well, we must be doing something right.

Tummy time head lift...... oooh the Olympian effort.

Just this last weekend we celebrated our 1,000th diaper.   I say celebrated, because Dagny insisted on screaming throughout the entire change, and I did a little dance with my arms in the air.

It’s also significant, because it shows that my daughter has survived my fathering (so far) and her output is significant.   This means that her input must also be significant (more on that later) and the difference is showing in inches of growth and pounds of weight.

It’s no secret that we’re using the local cloth diaper service and loving it.  <soapbox>With cloth diapers, we experience few blowouts and are happy to be utilizing reusable items and not to be loading landfill with tons of diapers.  I can change a cloth diaper as fast as a disposable, too.   The few times we’ve had to resort to disposables (because we ran out of the week’s allotment), Dagny fails to recognize that she’s wet and will sit happily in a dirty diaper.  While a content wet kid sounds convenient for parents, there are 2 things to be aware of:  (1) non-breathing disposables and a wet kid = diaper rash, (2)  children raised in cloth diapers tend to “train out” of them about a year earlier on average, most likely because they find a wet diaper uncomfortable!</soapbox>

Anyway, with cloth diapers, we hang on to the entire load in a plastic hamper, and it gets picked up every week.  This enabled me to take a little data a few weeks ago.  First, I weighed a load of 80 fresh diapers, and then took the weight of 80 soiled (ready for return) diapers.  Here’s what I found out.

• We’ve been averaging around 75-80 diapers per week (10-12 per day).


Celebration of parenthood!

• Dagny’s weekly output is something like 28-30+ pounds.  (This is probably lighter than actual, as evaporation during the week has to play somewhat of a role).
• A pint’s a pound the world around — so let’s say there are at least 32 pints of weekly input.
• 32 pints is 8 quarts.
• 8 quarts is 2 gallons.    My daughter is getting at least 2 gallons of input every week.
• Holy Cow! (pun intended) In order for Dagny to be drinking 2 gallons a week, Steph is outputting at least 2 gallons of milk per week!

Steph is doing someting right, that’s for sure!

No Purchase Necessary

In spite of moving into a newly renovated house with Steph ready to pop, we still managed to do some nesting.   That which we did not receive as a gift or hand-me-down, we purchased.   Steph organized everything.   The nursery was set up.   We even did a final Baby’s-N-Crap run to get the last minute things.

And now with the baby, we have stumbled upon 2 very effective solutions to common baby issues.   I’d like to pass these along for the hopes that it saves some body a little bit of money/grief along the way.

Changing Pad Covers

What a crock.  We spent something like $10-15 each for a “soft” and “comfortable”  changing pad cover that goes on a changing pad that won’t see use for a few more months.  Thankfully, we did receive a wonderful Graco Pack-n-Play which has been the baby’s primary crib.   Note that it has changing area?   Turns out this works really well.  However, Graco will gladly sell you a functionless  changing mat that simply doesn’t work (it’s too small and slides around).

Our solution:  dog towels.    If you’ve ever had a dog, you know what dog towels are and you probably have a bunch of them, too.

No, I am not talking about an expensive “specialty” dog towel that you buy for your labradoodle name “Princess” (and costs more than your egyptian cotton bath towel that you use every day).   I’m talking about the ratty old beach towels with holes and stains on them that live a second life as hand-me-downs to dry the dog.

Since we no longer have a dog, we find ourselves with plenty of dog towels. In fact, we currently have 4 dog towels in the changing area rotation.  We routinely fill a sanitary load with 2 or 3 of them, since our particular child likes to cluster several open air #2’s in a given day.    The large terry cloth towels cover all of the blast area and are soft and comfy enough for the baby.   Even though they are not nearly as styling as an art deco changing pad cover, their functionality greatly outweighs their anti-aesthetic.  I anticipate continued dog towel use when we do start using the changing table and changing pad.

Dog Towels Part 2:  Nursing Pads

Speaking of dog towels, turns out they are great “nursing pads” as well!  Projectile spit up over your shoulder headed towards the couch?   Foiled again by the dog towel you are thoughtfully sitting upon.

NOTE, however, that dog towels are far too large to make for good burp cloths, unless your dog was a toy chihuahua and you used facecloths to dry it.

Blast Shields

Here is a product that we did not see anywhere on the market.   (Since you heard it hear first, and I’m giving the idea away for free, please do me the favor of visiting the ads that appeal to you on this page, or kicking some paypal coin my way.)

The product is what we call a “Blast Shield“.   You could also call it the Projectile Poop Protector, the Shit Shield, the Changing Coat, or the Bio Blockade.

The concept is simple:  your infant is guaranteed to have gas.  They will poop, toot, fart or even spray fire out both ends during a change.  This “event” is unnerving and can be somewhat unpleasant when the little output device ejects cheesy mustard colored poop with enough force to travel 9 feet horizontally (true story: happened all over yours truly at 6am and I measured the result to verify distance).    This poop-ejection will occur when you are freshly showered, have just put on your clothes to go to work, are too tired to deal with the situation, or simply are not paying attention.

The solution to the problem is also simple: use a “dog” apron.   Find your least favorite (easy to clean) apron in your kitchen and keep it hanging right by the changing table.  When you are the least bit concerned or scared for your (or your clothing’s) well-being, don the Blast Shield and change your little biohazard with peace of mind.   Bonus points if your apron has pockets below the height of the changing table (to catch the fallout as it occurs and keep it off the floor).

Hope these help somebody somewhere.  Feel free to comment and share your own solutions…

2 months into this experiment called fatherhood and there are some “products” we have come to recognize as essential or “must-haves”.     The reason for the list is because I’m mostly surprised by what ended up being important and what is simply baby crap.

So, in no particular order, here they are:

All of the hand-me-down chairs

We laughed at first at how many chairs we had accumulated in our guest bedroom.  We have since come to recognize that arms get tired and you need a place in every room to set the baby down.    As for our favorite chairs, the baby poop-a-san chair not only vibrates but seems to relieve gas as well.   The big fisher price swign chair in the office keeps the baby super quiet.   Not so favorite is the stupid graco back-and-forth swing chair that sits the baby too upright and results in an uncomfortable and unhappy infant.

Halo Sleep Sack (link)

Our baby slept 6 hours at a stretch by  week #2 in this thing.  We got this as a present from a good friend and we thank her for it.   Here’s why we love this thing:

• We tried swaddling her with a blanket, but she is like a little houdini and kept breaking her hands free.  Free hands are distractions that wake a baby up.    The sleep sack has a velcro outer wrap that cinches baby nice and tight.
• Her legs can kick around.   Swaddling the arms is one thing, but she hates having her legs bent up all the time.  The sleep sack addresses that by leaving the legs unbound.
• Easy changing!   This is a key feature for any nighttime outfit.    The zipper is intelligently placed on the bottom of the sack.    I can even change her up without removing the arm wrap if need be.
• Warm and cozy but not too warm.  This thing seems to be the perfect warmth for our room at night, no blankets or extra clothes required.

Trixie Tracker Account (works with iPhone)

Seems a little geeky to be “essential”, but let me offer some logic to bring you over to the dark side.

• It’s mobile phone (aka iPhone) optimized and very streamlined. Turns out it is quicker to use Trixie Tracker than to keep a handwritten journal.
• Ever try to track the number of diapers in a day when you are just trying to figure out how to get in a square meal?   It’s kind of embarrassing to go to the pediatrician with the answer of “more than 5 and less than 20″ when they see output as an essential metric of well being.   Trixie Tracker makes diaper tracking a cake walk.
  

  Diaper tracking.... Kinda cyclical and you can see the number of poopy (brown) is doing down.

• Steph swears by the nursing tracker.   Rather than wearing (and forgetting about) a hair tie around her wrist to keep sides even, she uses Trixie Tracker to track times.   One less thing to try to remember over and over.
  

  The nursing chart shows the occasional spike. That's a lot of time in the recliner!

• It’s helps communication between the two of us…..either one of us can switch-hit and can check when she’ll be hungry again, when she’s due for a nap, etc.
• It’s fun!  Seriously…watching the sleep patterns and growth patterns emerge is fascinating.
  

  The sleep charts are fascinating. This basic probably chart confirms what we have come to expect from our daughter.

Baby Carrier

We have the Baby Bjorn, but any carrier that gives you 2 hands free and is 99% guaranteed to put the baby to sleep within 10 minutes is essential.  I find that I can chop vegetables, work in the shop and do laundry with the baby in the carrier.   Oh, and we can go on walks outside as well!

Burp Cloths

Falling into the category of “No Duh” but we were surprised by the vast quantity required.  Just about anything will do, but have dozens on hand.

Gowns with mittens (example)

We always thought “onesies” and bodysuits, but we only put those on when we go out of the house.  It turns out that the elastic bottom gowns are perfect for every day all day wearing and make for easy changing.  The mittens keep the baby from going Freddy Kruger on her own face.

Really good nail scissors

These facial hair scissors work great for clipping a squirming infants nails.

Forget the stupid baby nail clippers — they are just regular nail clippers with extra large grips and a cheap plastic magnifying glass. Silly devices are unwieldy and I wouldn’t even try to clip a sedated ferret’s claws with the things.

Go to the drugstore and get yourself a really nice pair of scissors (example to the right) and it will be worth every penny.   We went for the tweezerman brand, since they have rounded tips (for safety) and are big enough for my meaty hands to manage.

Right now, we’re clipping the baby’s nails twice a week and just barely keeping up.   Since our kids is seriously opposed to daytime naps, I have had to conduct said clipping sessions on a fully awake infant!

Without further ado, here are some random things I have picked up after nearly 2 months of being a father.

1. You do a LOT of things 1-handed. By far the most challenging is eating a burrito with your right hand while burping the baby on the left.   I’ve gotten so good at the football hold that I can cook and still manage to keep the baby’s head away from the heat.
2. The best analogy I have heard to date (Mikhail) is that a new baby is like a campfire in your living room.  You need to keep an eye on it, carry it carefully, and always have a place to put it wherever you are headed.   If you are not careful, the campfire will cause damage to the property around it.
3. Watching the nurse give the baby her first bath was enlightening.  Not to say the nurse was “rough”, but darn she was quick about it.   This alone gave me the confidence to “manhandle” the baby like trussing a turkey (for diapering) or rolling out pizza dough (for wipe-downs).   Putting on new gowns is it’s own bit of rodeo wrangling!
4. Speaking of diapers and baths and all that — don’t worry about it.  The baby might scream but she will live and forgive you and you will be much much better at it by the 100th time you drag your weary ass out of bed to deal with it (which happens about 1 week into becoming a new parent).   Definitely one of the fastest learn-as-you-go cycles to be had anywhere!
5. Trading off and/or putting down the screaming baby and walking away is one of the sanest things you can do after being screamed at nonstop.  Heck, I can’t figure out (or fix) all of her problems, especially that breastfeeding part.
6. The new camera has definitely been worth the investment.  Before you know it, she’s learning to smile and laugh!
   

   Problem: I needed 2 hands to carry the warm laundry up the stairs. Solution shown.

7. If someone you know offers to come over and hold the baby, you take them up on it so that you can get some sleep or eat a meal (with 2 hands).
8. It is far too easy to talk about your child’s main accomplishment, and by that I mean poopy diapers.  On the other hand, it is very difficult to not become “one of those parents” that always refers to diaper incidents.   Like the time I woke up at 6 in the morning only to be shotgunned by projectile poop that went 9 feet across the room (true story).
9. Butt Paste is a real product (although not our favorite in the breed, since it smells like vanilla and that just ruins creme brulee for me).  Oh, and as our pediatrician informed us, it really helps to frost the baby’s cookies every diaper change.
10. Be prepared to wash your hands a LOT (see previous 2 items).  While purell-type stuff “sterilizes” it also dries the crap out of your hands and chaps your skin.  Get some good smelling hand-soap and some lotion to boot.
11. Staring at the baby is a time-consuming task.  Your entire day can be sucked up watching the baby just sit there.   Not sure why I stare at the baby…..it just happens!
12. Cats don’t get jealous…heck they don’t even seem interested in being in the room when she screams at us.   As far as they are concerned, the baby is not food nor is it a provider of food.  It is merely a source of loud noise.
    

    Dagny at just over 8 pounds next to Boris at just over 16 pounds!

13. It is very important to have the next 2 hour block of time planned. By the time the feeding/diapering block has occurred you have a scant window of 1 hour to accomplish something before the fussing begins to start the next feeding/diapering block.
14. Babies can stink like Starbucks.  You know what I’m talking about, too….that nasty rotten milk smell that pervades the chain of McCoffee shops.   We found that lots of spot-cleaning helped keep our stinky baby smelling baby fresh.
15. The 5 S’s and a fast problem-solving triage are key (a la Happiest Baby On The Block) for limiting the crying.  I can quiet a baby in seconds with some loud shushing and the shaking really lulls them off, while the super tight swaddling keeps them there.  As for “side-lying” and “sucking”, those 2 are overrated but sometimes necessary.  My favorite hold in the early days was what I call “The Cocktail Shaker”.  Guaranteed to put baby to sleep in 5 minutes.
16. Burp Cloths! We thought we had a lot of them, but this item was always our limiter for laundry load cycles.   We have since bolstered our ranks and can go almost an entire day without having to do burp cloth laundry.
17. We totally did not have our co-sleeping arrangement setup properly for when we came home.   Turns out we needed a nightlight for those late night feedings and diaper changes.   We also needed a comfortable place for those late night feedings and by day 2 the recliner moved downstairs into the bedroom.   That said, the Graco Pack and Play with the integral diaper changing station has been key to our survival!
18. Having loads of recorded shows ready-to-go on the Tivo really helped in the first 2 weeks when the baby simply did not want to sleep.   The baby and I both enjoyed catching up and Dirty Jobs.
19. You just figure it out, they gain weight and grow, and somewhere amidst the exhaustion, when they start smiling back at you, it makes it all worth while……especially when the smiling to crying ratio begins exceeding 1!