Goalie Thoughts: I Has A Flavor

Today, we’ll discuss one of those less-than-obvious things about being a goalie (and player, too perhaps). Red is Smoking Hot with steam coming off his back.


While I have short hair, I’m currently sporting the (out-of-style) spiky look. To get said spiky look one has to use product. Not a lot, mind you, but some reasonably stiff hair gel of sorts.

Let me also add that I do not shower after work and *before* I put all the gear on and go play.

When you sweat in goalie gear, you really sweat. After a hard game, my underwear will be soaked through (like a dip in the pool). My scalp also perspires, soaking my hair and dripping down on the now-sopping wet sweat band in my mask. You see, the inside of ice hockey goalie gear is just another water sport.

::Back To The Subject At Hand::

That said, one of the little things I’ve noticed is that different hair products have different flavors. When the helmet sweat spigot engages, some hair products might sting your eyes and some won’t be a problem at all. But more pertinent to today’s topic is the fact that the sweat running down your face invariably gets into your mouth and comes with the added bonus of flavor.


So, here are my reviews of various hair products and how they taste in the liquid environs of a goalie helmet.

(no particular order)

Redken Hardware – I rarely use this stuff, but it has a mild salty flavor. No sting on the eyes.

Redken Water Wax – This one has nearly no flavor, perhaps slightly salty, but it does manage to dry your throat out a bit and make you cough. In addition, the eye-sting is pretty bad. Because of its waxy nature, it kinda clouds up your eyes as well. So bring an extra eye-rinse water bottle.

Redken [6] Styling Paste – You kinda have to use a lot of this stuff to get it to work, and as a result you get quite a bit of lip-smacking goodness. It’s reminiscent of chewing on a rose petal – not exactly sweet, and it dries your mouth out a little bit. The good news is that it doesn’t completely destroy your vision like the water wax.

Crew Styling Pomade – This is by far the worst offender on the flavor and vision front. I simply had to stop using it for that very reason. Think of a bitter apple, so tannic that your mouth instantly puckers up. Now, add some weird chemical tartness to it that makes your cheeks tighten up. On top of that, throw some vaseline in your eyes. That’s what this stuff does inside a helmet!

Pantene Hair Gel – It might be the cheap stuff on this list, but it’s darn effective as a hair styling product. The flavor is perhaps nutty with a hint of salt — very mild and unoffensive. The eye-sting factor is non-existent. In fact, this is at the top of my “Best tasting hair product mixed with sweat and running into your eyes” category.

Nexxus Exxtra Gel – Another fairly reasonably priced ‘product’ with little flavor (perhaps a wee bit salty). This one also does not have any eye-stinging characteristics. However, it does have a curious effect of making my forehead feel “dry” or slightly chapped. Weird.

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